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Mr. Pauley

Has anyone heard about this book called “The Rules” that a couple of women wrote? I haven’t read it, so I can’t really comment with any kind of certainty as to its content.

But I will say that as a man, I’m definitely not alone. No man reads that stupid shit. See, I have major problems with those stupid fucking books. I really hope that you’re just trying to make money because if you really think that crap is going to help you are damaging the very framework of the society in which we live.

What do women want reading that shit? To not have dates? One thing I know that book says is to not accept a date for the weekend after a Wednesday. News flash, everyone. Sometimes I have a Friday night come up and I’m bored and want something to do. But if I call you and invite you to dinner, that would be against the rules, right? So I better call one of my boyfriends.

I guess the idea is to weed out the guys that just want to sleep with you so you’re left with someone who really likes you. Two problems there:

A. Every straight guy out there wants to sleep with you.

B. How do fuck do I know if I like you or not if we haven’t actually gone out? I mean, I’m not 17 any more. The only thing I can tell is that you’re a complete pain in the ass because I have to jump through hoops just to get coffee. The only way I would do it is if I really really really wanted to sleep with you.

Wanna know what I think it is? You’re not very interesting. I mean, I used to really base my identity on whether or not girls liked me. I care much much less now. And really, if you’re gonna read some book by some woman that describes what men like, then you’re probably an insufferable pain in the ass.

So let’s make some mew rules. You can jump through hoops to try and date ME. I’m worth it. I’m a good guy. Everyone says there’s none of us left, right?

Here’s the new rules. Let’s work together on this. There is no”Battle Of The Sexes.” We all want the same things. Women are not conditioned to admit they like sex and men are not conditioned to admit that we like someone to care about emotionally. But we want it all. So accept the date, for the love of God! Do something goofy! You might have the best time of your life.

And you might find that special guy that really really really wants to sleep with you.

Mr. P.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 2nd, 2008 at 6:07 pm and is filed under Love, Mr. Pauley, attraction, sex, women. You can follow responses to this entry through the Comments RSS Feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your site.